Where to start?
I didn’t realise that my brain was any different until my 50’s. And, wow, what a gift that knowledge has been!
The present I didn't even know was possible
If, like me, you need to read the last page of a book to find out how a story ends before you start it, then – here I am, living a life I never dreamed was possible. I run my own business, enabling others to understand and accept themselves. I swim in the sea most days, with the freedom to choose when and where I work, so that I can be around for my two kids (and two cats!) when they need me most. And my ADHD diagnosis, along with the communities I joined, were the missing piece in being able to step into my true self.
My ADHD realisation came after a whole lifetime of therapy, counselling, hundreds of hours of self-development courses and a whole library of self-help books. Each time I started something, I’d be full of hope and excitement, thinking that this would be the thing that would fix me. I just hadn’t found the right thing yet.
When things got really bad, I’d end up at the GP with diagnoses of depression, generalised anxiety, bulimia, and burnout at various times from my late teens to my early forties. But the focus of treatment was always symptom management, ‘learning to cope and occasionally a new medication. I kept thinking that there had to be more to life than this.
In the middle of Covid, whilst juggling home-schooling and managing a careers department at a university, I was awarded a scholarship to study for a Masters’ in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology – the next shiny thing that I thought was going to help me. It did. I realised that most other people didn’t have to wait until 3am the day before a deadline to finally get the motivation to start doing the thing. And when a friend suggested I Google ADHD, it felt like something finally clicked into place for the first time.
I was already working as a coach with students, and as I shared my own personal journey, including my late ADHD realisation, I started getting contacted by more and more adults who resonated with my experience to coach them. I felt that life was calling me to this new work, and I trained to become an ADHD specialist coach.
I know that with the right support in place, late diagnosed adults - like you and me - can make peace with opportunities lost, unrealised potential, and any self-sabotaging coping mechanisms we may have developed along the way.
Since my diagnosis, it's not been plain sailing. There have been a lot of tears. And frustration. And grief. And also a lot of forgiveness, and laughter and joy.
I’m still a long way from being an enlightened guru! And you’d agree too if you found us on a morning when we’re scrambling about to find a complete PE kit, or I’ve forgotten yet another birthday. The difference is that now, I understand why certain things are harder for me, and how it affects my family and loved ones. Now I can accept and hold my traits with self-compassion, honesty and a good dose of humour.
Now I get to share my knowledge and understanding of how our bodies, brains and nervous systems are wired differently with other late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. And, supporting others to create a life they love has made all the challenges worthwhile.
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